Divorce is rarely easy. It’s often an emotionally charged and challenging period of life, even when things go smoothly. Unfortunately, when divorcing a narcissist, the process becomes substantially more difficult. These individuals are often challenging to deal with, bringing about unique roadblocks that complicate divorce proceedings. Given these complexities, divorcing a narcissist requires careful planning and a steadfast approach.
What is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is a person with narcissism, a personality trait that can be a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a mental disorder. Individuals with this trait often possess a grand sense of self-importance, viewing themselves as better than others and deserving special treatment.
They may lack empathy, often disregarding the feelings of others and how their actions may impact others. This can translate into exploitative and manipulative qualities, wherein the individual uses emotion or other attributes to sway others into doing their bidding.
These individuals also often need constant praise and attention to feed their superiority complex, seeking to impress others to feel important. They may possess a lofty sense of entitlement, possibly believing that rules don’t apply to them or that others should abide by their wishes.
Common Issues in Narcissist Divorce
Narcissistic divorces present various unique challenges. The most common issues often revolve around:
Alimony and Child Support
Monetary matters are often a challenging matter in narcissistic divorces. Unfortunately, entitlement and manipulative behaviors are characteristic of narcissists, which can create a significant problem when dealing with alimony and child support concerns.
Narcissists may attempt to skirt their financial responsibilities to their former spouse and children. They may use child support as leverage against their former spouse or may attempt to avoid paying it altogether. In the case of alimony, they may refuse to pay or try to gain an unfair reduction in spousal support, prioritizing their own financial state well above that of their former spouse.
Property Division
If you and your spouse share marital property, the division process can be a point of contention for narcissists. Maryland follows the principle of equitable distribution, which means that the courts will divide assets fairly if you and your spouse can’t reach an agreement. However, narcissistic individuals often vie for control and may attempt to sway or manipulate the other party into dividing marital property to their advantage.
Child Custody
The topic of child custody is often difficult in narcissistic divorces. A narcissistic parent may use their children as leveraging tools to harm, sway, or control the other parent in a divorce, possibly even manipulating the child into choosing them as the preferred choice. In some instances, narcissistic parents don’t want custody over their children for their children’s welfare but rather for their own gratification.
The Process of Divorcing a Narcissist
Divorcing isn’t easy, especially when your spouse is a narcissist or has narcissistic tendencies. Given their penchant for manipulation and control, the divorce process can be drawn out and emotionally tiring for the other spouse. Narcissists often resist compromise and may use the divorce as an opportunity to assert dominance or inflict emotional pain, so it’s important to be prepared when going into the process.
Gathering and Documenting Evidence
When divorcing a narcissist, evidence plays a crucial role. These individuals often use tactics like gaslighting, lying, and financial manipulation to sway others to do their bidding, so having proof of their nature can be helpful in a divorce.
If possible, gather and document evidence of your spouse’s narcissistic behavior. This might include emails, text messages, financial transactions, or videos that support your claims. These pieces of evidence can help demonstrate their true nature and counter their attempts to portray themselves in a more favorable light during divorce proceedings. If you’re not sure what types of evidence may be helpful, chat with a knowledgeable divorce attorney.
Seeking Legal Representation
Given the complex and often adversarial nature of divorcing a narcissist, having strong legal representation is essential. Your lawyer will help you navigate the specifics of your divorce, including your spouse’s manipulative tactics to protect your interests. It will be helpful to consult an attorney early to assist in obtaining documents prior to the divorce process, this can minimize the narcissist ability to hide, move, or dispose of assets prior to the divorce.
They are your advocates through every step. They can help manage communications with your spouse to limit the likelihood of direct conflict and help you maintain a level-headed approach. They’ll develop a strategy tailored to the unique challenges of your case, ensuring it reflects your interests to help reach a fair settlement.
If you’re going through a divorce, especially one with a narcissist, it’s important to contact a skilled divorce attorney in Maryland for assistance navigating the process.
Navigating Divorce Matters
Before you can finalize your divorce, you and your spouse will need to resolve divorce matters, such as child custody, child support, alimony, and asset division. These aspects can be challenging to handle, and if you and your spouse cannot come to an agreement, the courts will decide on the division for you.
Your lawyer will help you understand the process and what to expect if you can’t resolve certain issues with your spouse.
Protecting Your Emotional and Mental Well-Being
Divorcing a narcissist can take a significant toll on your emotional and mental well-being. Given that these individuals are often incredibly manipulative and skilled at pushing emotional buttons, the divorce process can be highly stressful.
So, throughout the process, taking steps to protect your mental and emotional health is important. This can look different for everyone. For some, it might be seeking support from mental health professionals or support groups with people who have experienced the same thing. For others, it might be leaning on trusted family and friends who understand the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.
While adding this to your plate may seem like too much, it’s crucial to take the time to prioritize your health and well-being, too. This way, you can better manage the challenges of divorcing a narcissist and emerge from the process with your dignity and self-respect intact.
Contact Our Experienced Divorce Lawyers at Jezic & Moyse Today
If you’re divorcing your narcissistic spouse, having legal guidance is essential. Our experienced divorce lawyers at Jezic & Moyse are here to help you navigate the process and advocate for your rights and interests. Contact us today at (240) 292-7200 or complete our online contact form to get started.